


And Find One's Port in Another's Arms

by Merfilly



Series: Padawan Plight [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Age Difference, F/F, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-07 20:46:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8815750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfilly/pseuds/Merfilly
Summary: The mission is taking its toll, but it also is pushing two souls closer together to their unity.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 4 years canonical difference in age between the girls. I believe Ahsoka is about sixteen by this point in the series and they have been building slowly over a year toward this.

The massive wave of hate and anger and fear was drowning her. She couldn't hold up to it. They were all right. The Jedi were failing sentients everywhere, had been for longer than the war. The men they used were merely crafted machines of war in flesh bodies. It had to be stopped, at any cost. She could find a way, make it happen. Hadn't she said it had to be shown the Jedi were accountable? What if she found a way to bring the Jedi's wrongdoing into the light of the public eye? What if—

Barriss Offee gasped aloud as she came awake from the dream she had been trapped in, still feeling the oppressive negative energy, but… it was being pushed away by the aggressively pure light that rested in her arms, already facing her with alert eyes full of concern.

"You were so upset," Ahsoka said softly, worrying at her lower lip, hoping it hadn't pushed over the tenuous boundaries of helping Barriss deal with the emotions inside her. 

"You're here. That helps soothe it," Barriss admitted, even as she moved her fingers to stop Ahsoka from irritating her lip, fingers resting near that sharp tooth on the lip itself. This close, it was very hard for her to miss the way Ahsoka's eyes changed, the dilation of the pupils. It pulled, hard, against that unknown feeling in the pit of Barriss's stomach. She almost wished Ahsoka would keep looking at her that way, so she could better understand the feeling, but her friend ducked her face down and away from the touch, drawing in a very deep breath.

"I think you credit me too much," Ahsoka said after a moment, before she looked back up, her features under her control again.

What was she masking from Barriss, the elder girl wondered, pressing the situation by moving her hand to rest her fingers on that small wing-mark on Ahsoka's cheek. It got another physical reaction, the pupils dilating further, and the lek that was less pinned twitching as the color intensified.

"Barriss… please…" Ahsoka whispered, and the elder girl saw actual fear in her friend. That, more than anything, made Barriss pull her hand away, only to have Ahsoka grab it and hold on to it fervently.

"I don't understand, Ahsoka. You touch me all the time, and I have touched you before. Is it … are there taboos about your markings?" Barriss questioned. Ahsoka's explosive, nervous laugh and shake of her head dispelled that idea. "Then what is wrong?"

"I like touching you. I like you touching me. I don't want to like it too much," Ahsoka said softly. "Because your friendship means far more to me than wanting more touches," she admitted honestly. "I can't lose your friendship, Barriss. It is that important to me, to help me deal with the war."

"Why would touching more make us not be friends?" Barriss asked, not quite understanding. 

Ahsoka pondered the best way out of this, when she had already given away her desire, and Barriss was bound to puzzle that out eventually. "Sometimes friends who have a strong bond will touch in ways that are… more intimate. And it makes stress on the bond, especially if one or both is uncertain that it is a good thing, but they try it anyway."

The words sank in, and Barriss placed the dilation and breathing change against her healing background, making her own eyes go wide… and a fluttering sensation in her stomach again. "You would want to touch me like … like that?"

Ahsoka bit her lip hard at the tone, the fear palpable in her, a solid distraction from the emotional atmosphere they were living in. Barriss brought her hand back up, thumb brushing at the slight puffiness Ahsoka's teeth had caused on her lower lip. The connection between them was so strong, a true bond of their spirits. Would that not extend to expressing feelings of the physical nature, Barriss wondered as she pressed the issue.

"No… yes, but… I don't think you want it. And I do want to keep your safe, even from me," Ahsoka admitted. "I tend to think with my body; I'm very physical."

"I noticed." Barriss chose to move forward, Jedi-quick, pressing her lips against Ahsoka's as she had seen Dagger do to the slightly older sergeant Cairn in her platoon of men, when they had thought they were alone. Ahsoka froze for just a moment, then she returned the kiss, just a light one, before she snuggled closer. 

When they parted, Ahsoka was looking at her with a soft smile, and Barriss thought it was the best look she had ever seen on the younger girl's face.

"You… don't mind, that I want to touch you more than… just friend-touching?"

Barriss smiled at her. "It is still friend-touching, and… I have never wanted to explore the physical feelings the way I do with you."

Ahsoka drew in a breath, then leaned forward, kissing her this time, going very slow as they found the right angle and how to be comfortable with each other. The darkness encroaching around them was pushed aside for the moment as hands followed lips, finding new sensations to share between them.

+++

Ahsoka woke first, feeling a need to get up, but then she became more aware of the weight on her chest, trapping one lek, while the other was held by a gentle, slender hand. She glanced down, finding Barriss still sleeping, this time in peace, the dreams far from her rest, and Ahsoka chose to make her body ignore the functions pressing her to rise.

Barriss needed all the sleep she could get, her healer's soul more weighted down by this mission than Ahsoka's. It was a baseline difference between them, as Ahsoka felt the wrongness and needed to find the cause to end it, but Barriss saw the symptoms and wanted to treat them. Neither of them were wrong, but it would take both to make the problem truly go away.

She closed her eyes, seeking meditation to center herself. Ahsoka refused to feel any guilt for drawing Barriss more fully into her own orbit, into the path of attachment. With this war, the huntress could only find goodness in such things, and believed it would be the only way for any Jedi to truly survive with their sanity intact.

 _Hold her close, little one._ The voice was growing more familiar as time went by, and those words caused no unease. Ahsoka had no plans to turn Barriss loose, now or in the future.


End file.
